Why I'm Scared To Have Children

 Last night, I had the chance to go to a Rockies game. (Granted, they lost by one run, but the game was fun and thrilling until the last out.) While I'm not a HUGE baseball fan, I am a HUGE people watching fan. Case in point: Mom from the 80's with the feathered shag haircut with purple streaks and bright purple eyeliner. That? Was a minor offense compared to the offenses that minors were committing left and right. These offenses were fashion based, of course.

Now, I'm not saying I've made the best fashion choices every day of my life. (Enter the awkward bowl cut, the mile high bangs, the pants tucked into socks, decolletage in daylight, but this post is not about me.) BUT, what I do know is that not every fashion can be pulled off by everyone and some fashions should be left solely for theme parties to parody the atrocities from popular culture.

Enter the current teenage/tween population. They wear skin tight skinny jeans. They wear bright florescent colors. They wear their hair meticulously blown forward in a shag that requires headbands. They sag their pants. They wear plaid. They wear capri leggings. Does this sound familiar my mid-to-late twnetysomethings slash early thirtysomethings?? That's because these fashions were from our youth!

Case in point: Here's the fashion show scene from Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead.



That? Is what these kids are wearing. OK, so maybe they aren't rocking every look, but it's getting close. Another example of these fashions can be found in any episode of Teen Mom. More specifically those scenes with Farrah. Homegirl needs to stop complaining about being broke when she's dressed in all the latest "fashions". Well, I would say that she may have gotten them from Goodwill, but if you've ever seen an episode, that brat wouldn't touch a thrift store with a ten-foot pole. I nearly fell off the couch when Farrah sported leggings under daisy duke shorts with booties. Oy to the vey. Those leggings? Resembled hyper color or acid wash. I think I need a whole post dedicated to all of the cast members. Who knew unprotected sex would ultimately be my muse for future blogs?