Things I Have Learned In My 26 Years...

1. Refrain from starting a sentence with, "Back when I was a virgin..." in a conversation with your mother. (Yep. I'm that awesome. Especially when my mom's face was like a deer in headlights. Thankfully, my grandma didn't have her hearing aids in.)

2. Sidewalks and gravity will always win and will make you their bitch if given the chance. (That, mixed with heels, vodka, sake bombs, shots, and beer, but I still contend it was the sidewalk's fault.)

3. If possible, make someone be in charge of taking pictures if you plan on getting blitzed since it will help chronicle your night. (Thanks to Missey and her ability to take over 200 pictures in a single evening.)

4. I am a klutz. Sober or drunk, I can trip on any surface, in any set of conditions. (Seriously. I'm surprised I've only ever broken one bone. Knock on wood.)

5. My family drives me absolutely nuts, but without them, I wouldn't be the well-adjusted, awesomeness that I am today. (I'm sure that they would argue that I am far from well-adjusted and awesome some days, but that just adds to the fact that they drive me nuts.)

6. I have decided to do what makes me happy in every aspect of my life. I have always thought of myself as an optimist, but I have found that I have to chose to be happy and find that happiness in my life. (This lesson was learned when my dad decided to be happy and divorce the creature from the black lagoon. Now, he's found his happiness.)

7. Friends are the universe's way of apologizing for the aforementioned family. My friends are my extended family, and as such, I would do anything for them. (Well, I do have my limits, but it can't hurt to ask.)

8. Hindsight is always 20/20 and your friends are more than likely right. The ability for a friend to take an objective look at your very subjective point of view is priceless. Red flags exist. Listen when your friends start waving them. (Friends have that outside perspective and your best interests at heart. Dig the honesty.)

9. Embrace your quirks. I am a klutz. I am sarcastic. I am stubborn. I have to get lemon with any form of Dr. Pepper in a restaurant. I don't like when people say "pop" when referring to soda. (Knowing that I'm a nerd at heart also lets my psyche relax and not take life so seriously.)

10. Life keeps getting better. Although my goals have changed, my life isn't what I expected when I thought of the future at 16, I have now have everything I never knew I always wanted. Life is unpredictable, but awesome all the same. Being 26 wears well on me.