Sunday, March 1, 2009

A Night on the Five Points Side of Town

Venturing away from the Larimer Square side of town and LoDo area, my girls and I went to the Five Points area of downtown for the bar scene on Saturday night. (NOTE: Five Points isn't near where these bars are, but they're not quite LoDo, so that's why they get the unfair moniker of Five Points.) We chose The Gin Mill for reasons that since we were at a party (it was a classy celebration for an acquaintance that just received his Professional Engineer License) that we might as well try The Gin Mill since that's where everyone else was going. What can I say? We're suckers for peer pressure.

The Gin Mill is a nice hole in the wall-ish type bar with an outside, heated smoking section and two bars with lots of space in between. The mix of people is eclectic, but totally a good vibe. They play a great mix of rock, pop, hip-hop and some moldy oldies that everyone can sing along to. All in all, I'll go back there, for sure. (Well, I was back there since I went to Trickernation for Halloween, but The Gin Mill of normalcy resembles very little of The Gin Mill for Trickernation. I digress.)

While enjoying our adult beverages, Heather and I were dancing up a storm and holding tryouts for our dance team. We have two new members: Mike (new favorite roommate award as well) and Tyler, the high-kicking, mild creeper. Although, we don't think that Tyler will come to anymore practices.

Here are some of the highlights of the tryouts:
  • Tyler: Although he had the moves and was on beat with a different song, the one move that got him on the team was the impromptu high kick. Impressive in designer jeans and a crowded bar without casualties. Except for the biting. Not cool.
  • Mike: Homeboy has skills. From turns, to dancing with others, to lip syncing, he's got it all. Welcome to the team, Mike. Heather and I greet you with open arms on the dance floor.
  • Find the Beat Brunette: You may have not consciously tried out for the team, but Heather and I are always recruiting, regardless, you didn't make the cut. You were always a half beat off and that half beat wasn't even to the song that was playing. And, poor thing, it only got worse as other people tried to dance with you. She needs better friends.
There were two other points in the night that stuck out in my mind:

While dancing with Tyler, a blond at the next table was very interested in Mr. Tyler. When he wasn't dancing with us - taking a breather since he's not as rock star as Heather and me - she would try chatting him up. While he had his back turned to her texting, she looks at me dead in the eye, reaches over and grabs Tyler's ass. Good one, sweetheart. If you haven't noticed that Heather and I are pointing and laughing at Tyler most of the night and telling him "Inappropriate", we aren't interested. He's all yours. High kicks, biting, and all.

The second part was when Missey was being polite to another party-goer that we were talking to about going to The Gin Mill, she said, "Well, I guess we'll see you later then." His reply was, "Nope. Probably not. I have a girlfriend." Wait, what??? When did being polite and friendly turn into hitting on a guy? And home slice, you need to check yourself because your paunchy ass has too big of an ego.

Also, this reminds me, Heather, we need to go to the Fort to have our official casting via New Belgium postcards.


  1. I hate that I live in a city where the standard is ASSHOLE! I have identified my issue is that my family is from the south where it is appropriate to be friendly and greet everyone.... maybe I need big hair and a porch. Dude was a balding smallfry.... what about that do I want a piece of?!?! On a side note, my neighbor is a tightly wound 50 something female who I greet 1-2x per day as she takes her dog out. In 6 months she has NEVER responded with so much as a head nodd. Does she have a girlfriend too?

  2. All I can do is laugh!! This is the best summary of the night!! Tyler's high kicks, Mike's smooth moves, and the make-out brunette that was a complete mess; I'm so glad you're my friend!! Who else would I have nights like this with?!

  3. A.) how high were said kicks? Also, what song were the high kicks during. For instance, "New York, New York" totally approriate and at times encouraged or was it more like Britney Spears "Womanizer"? This will determine how funny I find this situation.
    B.) Does your team of dancers also fight crime? If so, I would like to audition for your dance team.
    C.) Having been a boyfriend, anything that could be interpretted as flirting at a bar can make me feel the need to explain my situation before anything progresses. Is it always necessary? Definately not, however I feel better knowing that I am not sending mixed signals since everyone thinks guys at bars are just trying to find someone to have sex with, so I find it best to sometimes preface all interactions with "I am involved. I am not trying to have sex with and/or your friends." So I defend Random guy #1 in that respect. However, that "Nope. Probably not." I mean even if it is true, at least be like "Yeah. See ya." No reason to be rude.

    -Kevin Foley
    P.S. Cool weblog.

  4. To Mr. Foley:

    A) Name the song, and there was at least one high kick.

    B) We're ninjas, too. But you already knew that. We'll be having auditions, but since we're ninjas, you'll have to be on point because you never know when we're auditioning.

    C) Considering this was before the bar and we were talking to more people than him and talking about other guys when he walked up, he was at the very least straight up rude.