Football Fridays

I know that I posted about the Bad Ass Unicorns yesterday and how awesome they are, but since it's kickoff weekend for regular season college football, I thought I would write a little about everything I'm excited about this weekend in football...so here goes...

Football Friday Faves

• All the adorable posts I'll see from the SEC bloggers for their game day outfits and their amazing tailgates slash goodies. Seriously, Colorado State needs to get on that. There's nothing wrong with looking cute AND watching football.
• That fall is around the corner which means this heat (which, it's supposed to top 90 in DC today) can take a hike.
• The Rocky Mountain Showdown! CSU Rams take on the CU Buffs in the interstate rivalry game...and also the only game I care about for the Rams during the season.
• Cowboy Classic: Michigan v. Alabama. These are two powerhouse teams meeting up the first week. It's gonna be good.
• And last, Wyoming at Texas. Even though I can't handle the Longhorns, I don't like the Cowboys much more. That, and Texas (as in any team from the state) is always good to watch.
• This is really just a warm-up week to the first week of regular season play for the NFL and the Bad Ass Unicorns to take shape.
• And even though it's not football, I'm excited to see the Nats play tonight to keep in the hunt for first place in the National League.

What are your Football Friday Faves? Let's hear it!

Bad Ass Unicorns

I'm in a fantasy football league.

And I'm the only girl.

So, naturally, my draft is half based on math and half based on cute players.

But I do have some sense. Like I picked up Aaron Rodgers for QB and San Francisco's defense.

But picking Eric Decker for wide receiver? A totally emotional pick for the Broncos and a two-syllable day-yum for his hotness.

Don't fail me, Eric.
Although your performance with the 49ers holds promise.

Where do Bad Ass Unicorns come in?

Well, being the only girl in the league, I had to make it uber girly.

Enter, the unicorn.

Handing out rainbows and ass kickings.
And we're all out of rainbows.

Here's to a successful season where I can smack talk the Spandex Camel Toes, Gangreen Guatemalans, Fearless Iranians from Hell. and White Ron Mexicos to the point where my sickeningly sweet glitter and sparkles emasculates them, I count this season as a win.

So What Wednesday

I may have been out of the rotation for awhile, but I'm back!

Linking up with Shannon at Life After I "Dew" and saying SO WHAT!

So WHAT if...

• I have managed to log and schedule posts this week? I have decided that I need to stay busy to stay on track. I mean, it sounds like a great idea to nap all day, but it really effs with your sleep cycle during the week.
• I have managed to not buy any Broncos gear? I am in love with the return of the orange jerseys. It's all that I have in will power to wait until I can hand pick my beauty at the team store next month.
• I am oh so sick of the heat? I need layers. I need boots. I need sweaters. I need scarves. I need cozy reads with a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I need cooler temps stat.
• I'm ready to break out the crock pot? Nothing says fall like football on Sundays and green chile or regular ol' chili? It's amazing what you can get done here on the East Coast when football doesn't start until 1pm.
• I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest? I mean, great inspiration for everything from workouts to cinnamon rolls with extra butter, but I can't deal with the holiday posts that are six months in advance of the holiday, i.e., STOP. WITH. THE. CHRISTMAS. ALREADY.
• I'm still kinda in love with Robert Downey Jr. slash Tony Stark? You know why he plays a good Iron Man? Because he is Tony Stark without the Ph.D. and global dominating company. But you get the point. Swoon.
• I'm a little all over the place today? Isn't that like one big SO WHAT?! I mean, really. This is a clearing house for my brain.

Trader to My Gender

Let's first get this straight. Women are bad ass.

As Beyonce said, "Strong enough to bear the children / Then get back to business."

I mean, our bodies are engineered to get a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon, so we're pretty well built to handle anything. Especially if you've ever dealt with a man that has a cold and is immediately regressed to an toddler incapable of words and communicating past grunts and whines.

Anyway, here's where I throw vajays under the bus.

I hate female, on-field football reporters.

I can't even call them sportscasters.

OK, Erin Andrews, you're dating George who may or may not be gay, so there's a chance that you're a dude, but I digress.

Case in point, on Sunday, the Broncos took on the 49ers. On the field? A female reporter. Problem with the "reporter"? She chose a color of green that was the same as the blend of four Kentucky Bluegrasses at Invesco. That color may make your skin tone pop! honey, but you look like a floating head.

You need a new stylist, honey.

Now, let's move onto the fake lashes. I get that falsies will help open your eyes, but when you're squinting into the sun, it's lost. And then there's your choice. You're rocking a hybrid Snooki/Kardashian look that only should happen after sundown, on the red carpet, or on the the dirty Jerz shore.

via / via

Now, get off the grass in your stilettos because you're making the grounds keeper cringe at the out of schedule aerating you're doing.

Let's get Tebow off the roster and on the mic. I could watch that all day.

Century Club

Y'all!

I broke the 100 stalker follower count! Welcome to the newbies and a whattup to my long time lovers.

I guess with so many people declaring via Google Friend Connect that they read what I write slash think that I post something relevant, I should step up the blogging game.

But don't hold your breath.

I mean, I got my jam together when I noticed this, I was watching the Broncos game, so I could multi-task.

This means that I should probably give a good excuse as to my whereabouts our mental meanderings.

First, let's talk about this damn heat. I'm done. I'm done with sweating just standing still in the shade for 5 minutes. I'm tired of having to wash everything after one wash because you pit out everything. Pit sweat, knee sweat, crotch sweat, boob sweat, lower back sweat...it. never. ends.

I'm looking forward to the trip to my homeland at the end of September. I should be able to dress in layers and be comfortable. And, if I manage to get up to the high country, even experience temperatures that can start to freeze water.

Oh, lawd, do I need some cooler temps.

And here's where it really bothers me: all the stores have the back-to-school-fall-layering looks on display. The thought of cable knit makes a bead of sweat appear on my lower back, much less a fleece jacket.

And don't even get me started on scarves. (Endless Summer Sale from Lilly Pulitzer, I'm looking at you.)

Granted, my Century Club post probably drew you in for some drinking game fun, I have grown up a little from that. I only play Power Hour.

Happy Monday, poodles!

Enjoying Those Moments

Do you ever stop, look around, and ask, "Is this real life?"

Because I do.

I mean, how lucky can a girl be?

I have a loving family, friends that make me laugh, a great job, a cute roof over my head, and clearly enough cupcakes in my life.

I have stopped being so camera happy because I have seen that, while seeing life through a lens is awesome, living life in the moment is oh so much better.

But because I'm completely detached from reality or instagram, I do have some moments captured here for you my sweet little potential stalkers. (p.s. Welcome to all of you new kids from my guest post over at Life After I "Dew!!)

Little Baby Jesus...or Bearded Sweet Jesus
My mom helped pack up and ship out my stuff from Colorado once I found that cute roof over my head. Well, somehow, Jesus made the journey with my dresser. And yes, he's still in that drawer. Every time I catch a glimpse of him while I grab a pair of socks, I start a giggle fit.

Who's Rocky Marciano?
For a short weekend trip to Philly, we went by the statute and the famous steps. I would have taken a picture at the top of the stairs if we didn't a look a tad haggard. Hence the artful cropping here.

Shipping Up to Boston
I spent a weekend up in Beantown to celebrate my oldest most tenured friend. We snuck off to a Red Sox game where we lasted 3 innings before the heat and BO of those around us was unbearable. Of course there was copious amounts of beer and cider consumed, but that's what we do when we're together and celebrating a whole new decade.

 On Point Office
Once in awhile, I get to head out to the Chesapeake Bay and do a little work and a lot of relaxing. Since it's work related, I count these as wins when I work until 6:30pm or later. I'll take it.

Crab Cakes and Football! It's What Maryland Does!
Granted, crab cakes have gluten and football is a couple of weeks away, I still get freshly-caught Maryland crab regularly enough that it's delicious and not a pain in the ace to get the meat out of the shell. And of course, I needed the photographic evidence that I wore a bib in public.

Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner
I'm going for breezy here, and I think that I pulled that off...if it were the 60s, I was at some all-inclusive resort with my parents and "dancing" with the dance instructor with the intent to join the Peace Corps. Whatever. I matched. I felt cool in the breezy sense. I can't wait for fall. But aside, I cracked myself up when I took one glance and said, "Nobody puts baby in the corner."

What are your little moments?

Summer Nights

What have I been up to that I've been so lack-a-daisical about blogging?

Other than my usual laziness?

Well, I've been to Philly, Boston, and a little concert know as the Brothers of the Sun Tour.

Haven't heard of it?

Well, if you're obsessed with country music like I am or think Kenny is the second coming of Jimmy, then you know that I'm talking about Tim McGraw & Kenny Chesney are on tour this summer.

And lemme tell you. They tour.

I'm talking FOUR straight hours where Tim and/or Kenny are on the stage.

Ah. Maze. Zing.

And my abs and legs were sore like I worked out. That could have been from standing for so long, singing my lungs out, or just that beer does that to a girl.

Yep. We're rocking the boots.

That would be the sun shining down on Mr. McGraw.

Obligatory selfie.

Waiting for Kenny.

SO WHAT! Wednesday

This is usually the day that I link up with Shannon at Life After I "Dew", but today, I'm taking over!!

Shannon is sunning herself on vacation, so she let me do a SWW post. I know you're dying to read it, so head over to my post here.

Yes.

I'm making you click a link.

Just do it.

Yes.

Those all go to the same place.

Recent Retail Therapy

I'm jetting of to Boston for the weekend to see and celebrate a Dirty 30 with one of my oldest (pun intended) friends, Caitlin. Her and I have bonded over Girl Scouts, Cotton Creek Cougars, Huron Huskies, Northglenn Norsemen, forgiven each other for our choices in colleges (we were inter-state rivals), but we always saw eye-to-eye when it comes to fashion.

See evidence here, here, here, and below.

Wedding day fancy.

Skinny arm? Check. Head tilt? Check.

(That was me while I was blonde. Stay tuned for updated pics with me as a brunette.)

Anyway, I thought that in honor of our fashion loving ways, I would share my recent online retail acquisitions.

The Coco Necklace in navy from Bridier Baubles. Ah-maz-hing.

Finally investing in good, leather boots. These are Merrell Tetras.

Since I had issues (read: dropped) with my Nook 1st Edition, I got the Nook Simple Touch...and naturally, immediately acquired a cover. It's purple and dotted, I die.

My Lilly. What this picture doesn't show is that the cutouts have a bright tangerine color behind them.

Introducing the Magicsuit Miraclesuit. Bonus that that one-shoulder can be tucked to make it strapless for bridesmaid tanning requirements. (You know, late summer/early fall wedding with a strapless dress? Tanlines are a no-no.)

Thanks to RHONYC, I was introduced to Yummie Tummie...hello controlling clothing.

And since every girl needs a layering tank, here's a Yummie Tummie smoothing tank.

Now, you're probably thinking, Ana, why are you spending so much?! Well, lemme tell you.

I didn't.

With online research, you can get some serious coupon codes and deals. Here's what everything was retailing for and what I paid.

Bridier Baubles:
Retail $30
Paid $30
Savings $0
But there was free shipping and a GREAT price!

Boots:
Retail $180
Paid $136
Savings $44
Free shipping!

Nook:
Retail $99
Paid $0
Savings $99
Thanks, Protection Plan!

Nook cover:
Retail $12
Paid $2
Savings $10
Minus $3 for shipping, but whatever. God bless amazon.com.

Lilly dress:
Retail $268
Paid $60
Savings $208
Thanks Rue La La

Magicsuit:
Retail $162
Paid $50
Savings $112
Thanks, Rue La La!

Black Jersey Dress
Retail $178
Paid $60
Savings $118
Thanks, Rue La La!

Ruffle Top
Retail $106
Paid $30
Savings $76
Thanks, Rue La La!

TOTAL RETAIL $1035
TOTAL SPENT   $  368
TOTAL SAVINGS $667
In case you're into percentages, that's 65%ish OFF!!!

Boom. That's how you do it.

So What Wednesday

Linking up with Mrs. Dew at Life After I "Dew" for some so whatting...Olympic Edition

So WHAT if...

• I'm making up for Shannon's complete lack of Olympic watching? Legit on all the time...in the office, at home, on my phone. UHHB-SESSED.
• I tear up when someone wins a medal? The pure joy that their expression shows their hard work and sacrifice paid off.
• I think that the Fab Five gymnasts were playing Super Troopers Meow last night? Tell me they didn't all say Team USA when it was weird. Like, "I'm just happy that I am breathing for Team USA." Weird.
• I still cried when the Fab Five won gold? Sure, I knew they had already won, but day-um I heart the Olympics.
• I love me a good Olympic montage? Give me a back story, tell me their struggles, and for the love of Pete, NBC, please shed some light on the hotties from other countries.
• I love and hate that these games are the social media olympics, too? There's live tweeting, iPhone apps, breaking news on TV, and really I can't look away, but mad that I know the endings.
• I love love love love love love watching the parents in the stands? Aly, I'm looking at you. Your mom looks like she's having a painful orgasm watching you compete. And then there's Michael Phelps mom, Debbie. She's just so proud of her little boy.
• I audibly UGH when I hear Ryan Seacrest? What the hell does Ryan Seacrest have to do with sports, the Olympics, or London? There are no Kardashians, there are no musicians (that would actually interview with him), and no Bieber. Step away from the Olympics.
• I think that Allison Schmitt and Michael Phelps should go ahead, fall in love, and have many freakishly tall, a tad horse faced offspring. I mean, c'mon. It's a fairy tale. It's meant to be.

Amiright or amiright?

Link up with Shannon and say your own so whats!