Football Fridays

I know that I posted about the Bad Ass Unicorns yesterday and how awesome they are, but since it's kickoff weekend for regular season college football, I thought I would write a little about everything I'm excited about this weekend in football...so here goes...

Football Friday Faves

• All the adorable posts I'll see from the SEC bloggers for their game day outfits and their amazing tailgates slash goodies. Seriously, Colorado State needs to get on that. There's nothing wrong with looking cute AND watching football.
• That fall is around the corner which means this heat (which, it's supposed to top 90 in DC today) can take a hike.
• The Rocky Mountain Showdown! CSU Rams take on the CU Buffs in the interstate rivalry game...and also the only game I care about for the Rams during the season.
• Cowboy Classic: Michigan v. Alabama. These are two powerhouse teams meeting up the first week. It's gonna be good.
• And last, Wyoming at Texas. Even though I can't handle the Longhorns, I don't like the Cowboys much more. That, and Texas (as in any team from the state) is always good to watch.
• This is really just a warm-up week to the first week of regular season play for the NFL and the Bad Ass Unicorns to take shape.
• And even though it's not football, I'm excited to see the Nats play tonight to keep in the hunt for first place in the National League.

What are your Football Friday Faves? Let's hear it!

Bad Ass Unicorns

I'm in a fantasy football league.

And I'm the only girl.

So, naturally, my draft is half based on math and half based on cute players.

But I do have some sense. Like I picked up Aaron Rodgers for QB and San Francisco's defense.

But picking Eric Decker for wide receiver? A totally emotional pick for the Broncos and a two-syllable day-yum for his hotness.

Don't fail me, Eric.
Although your performance with the 49ers holds promise.

Where do Bad Ass Unicorns come in?

Well, being the only girl in the league, I had to make it uber girly.

Enter, the unicorn.

Handing out rainbows and ass kickings.
And we're all out of rainbows.

Here's to a successful season where I can smack talk the Spandex Camel Toes, Gangreen Guatemalans, Fearless Iranians from Hell. and White Ron Mexicos to the point where my sickeningly sweet glitter and sparkles emasculates them, I count this season as a win.

So What Wednesday

I may have been out of the rotation for awhile, but I'm back!

Linking up with Shannon at Life After I "Dew" and saying SO WHAT!

So WHAT if...

• I have managed to log and schedule posts this week? I have decided that I need to stay busy to stay on track. I mean, it sounds like a great idea to nap all day, but it really effs with your sleep cycle during the week.
• I have managed to not buy any Broncos gear? I am in love with the return of the orange jerseys. It's all that I have in will power to wait until I can hand pick my beauty at the team store next month.
• I am oh so sick of the heat? I need layers. I need boots. I need sweaters. I need scarves. I need cozy reads with a Pumpkin Spice Latte. I need cooler temps stat.
• I'm ready to break out the crock pot? Nothing says fall like football on Sundays and green chile or regular ol' chili? It's amazing what you can get done here on the East Coast when football doesn't start until 1pm.
• I have a love/hate relationship with Pinterest? I mean, great inspiration for everything from workouts to cinnamon rolls with extra butter, but I can't deal with the holiday posts that are six months in advance of the holiday, i.e., STOP. WITH. THE. CHRISTMAS. ALREADY.
• I'm still kinda in love with Robert Downey Jr. slash Tony Stark? You know why he plays a good Iron Man? Because he is Tony Stark without the Ph.D. and global dominating company. But you get the point. Swoon.
• I'm a little all over the place today? Isn't that like one big SO WHAT?! I mean, really. This is a clearing house for my brain.

Trader to My Gender

Let's first get this straight. Women are bad ass.

As Beyonce said, "Strong enough to bear the children / Then get back to business."

I mean, our bodies are engineered to get a watermelon out of a hole the size of a lemon, so we're pretty well built to handle anything. Especially if you've ever dealt with a man that has a cold and is immediately regressed to an toddler incapable of words and communicating past grunts and whines.

Anyway, here's where I throw vajays under the bus.

I hate female, on-field football reporters.

I can't even call them sportscasters.

OK, Erin Andrews, you're dating George who may or may not be gay, so there's a chance that you're a dude, but I digress.

Case in point, on Sunday, the Broncos took on the 49ers. On the field? A female reporter. Problem with the "reporter"? She chose a color of green that was the same as the blend of four Kentucky Bluegrasses at Invesco. That color may make your skin tone pop! honey, but you look like a floating head.

You need a new stylist, honey.

Now, let's move onto the fake lashes. I get that falsies will help open your eyes, but when you're squinting into the sun, it's lost. And then there's your choice. You're rocking a hybrid Snooki/Kardashian look that only should happen after sundown, on the red carpet, or on the the dirty Jerz shore.

via / via

Now, get off the grass in your stilettos because you're making the grounds keeper cringe at the out of schedule aerating you're doing.

Let's get Tebow off the roster and on the mic. I could watch that all day.

Century Club

Y'all!

I broke the 100 stalker follower count! Welcome to the newbies and a whattup to my long time lovers.

I guess with so many people declaring via Google Friend Connect that they read what I write slash think that I post something relevant, I should step up the blogging game.

But don't hold your breath.

I mean, I got my jam together when I noticed this, I was watching the Broncos game, so I could multi-task.

This means that I should probably give a good excuse as to my whereabouts our mental meanderings.

First, let's talk about this damn heat. I'm done. I'm done with sweating just standing still in the shade for 5 minutes. I'm tired of having to wash everything after one wash because you pit out everything. Pit sweat, knee sweat, crotch sweat, boob sweat, lower back sweat...it. never. ends.

I'm looking forward to the trip to my homeland at the end of September. I should be able to dress in layers and be comfortable. And, if I manage to get up to the high country, even experience temperatures that can start to freeze water.

Oh, lawd, do I need some cooler temps.

And here's where it really bothers me: all the stores have the back-to-school-fall-layering looks on display. The thought of cable knit makes a bead of sweat appear on my lower back, much less a fleece jacket.

And don't even get me started on scarves. (Endless Summer Sale from Lilly Pulitzer, I'm looking at you.)

Granted, my Century Club post probably drew you in for some drinking game fun, I have grown up a little from that. I only play Power Hour.

Happy Monday, poodles!

Enjoying Those Moments

Do you ever stop, look around, and ask, "Is this real life?"

Because I do.

I mean, how lucky can a girl be?

I have a loving family, friends that make me laugh, a great job, a cute roof over my head, and clearly enough cupcakes in my life.

I have stopped being so camera happy because I have seen that, while seeing life through a lens is awesome, living life in the moment is oh so much better.

But because I'm completely detached from reality or instagram, I do have some moments captured here for you my sweet little potential stalkers. (p.s. Welcome to all of you new kids from my guest post over at Life After I "Dew!!)

Little Baby Jesus...or Bearded Sweet Jesus
My mom helped pack up and ship out my stuff from Colorado once I found that cute roof over my head. Well, somehow, Jesus made the journey with my dresser. And yes, he's still in that drawer. Every time I catch a glimpse of him while I grab a pair of socks, I start a giggle fit.

Who's Rocky Marciano?
For a short weekend trip to Philly, we went by the statute and the famous steps. I would have taken a picture at the top of the stairs if we didn't a look a tad haggard. Hence the artful cropping here.

Shipping Up to Boston
I spent a weekend up in Beantown to celebrate my oldest most tenured friend. We snuck off to a Red Sox game where we lasted 3 innings before the heat and BO of those around us was unbearable. Of course there was copious amounts of beer and cider consumed, but that's what we do when we're together and celebrating a whole new decade.

 On Point Office
Once in awhile, I get to head out to the Chesapeake Bay and do a little work and a lot of relaxing. Since it's work related, I count these as wins when I work until 6:30pm or later. I'll take it.

Crab Cakes and Football! It's What Maryland Does!
Granted, crab cakes have gluten and football is a couple of weeks away, I still get freshly-caught Maryland crab regularly enough that it's delicious and not a pain in the ace to get the meat out of the shell. And of course, I needed the photographic evidence that I wore a bib in public.

Nobody Puts Baby In A Corner
I'm going for breezy here, and I think that I pulled that off...if it were the 60s, I was at some all-inclusive resort with my parents and "dancing" with the dance instructor with the intent to join the Peace Corps. Whatever. I matched. I felt cool in the breezy sense. I can't wait for fall. But aside, I cracked myself up when I took one glance and said, "Nobody puts baby in the corner."

What are your little moments?

Summer Nights

What have I been up to that I've been so lack-a-daisical about blogging?

Other than my usual laziness?

Well, I've been to Philly, Boston, and a little concert know as the Brothers of the Sun Tour.

Haven't heard of it?

Well, if you're obsessed with country music like I am or think Kenny is the second coming of Jimmy, then you know that I'm talking about Tim McGraw & Kenny Chesney are on tour this summer.

And lemme tell you. They tour.

I'm talking FOUR straight hours where Tim and/or Kenny are on the stage.

Ah. Maze. Zing.

And my abs and legs were sore like I worked out. That could have been from standing for so long, singing my lungs out, or just that beer does that to a girl.

Yep. We're rocking the boots.

That would be the sun shining down on Mr. McGraw.

Obligatory selfie.

Waiting for Kenny.