So What Wednesday

I'm linking up with Shannon at Life After I "Dew" to say SO WHAT!

So WHAT if...

• I keep forgetting what day of the week it is? I mean, legit did not realize it was Wednesday today.
• I'm pretty sure that I should not be so happy to wear leggings to work? There all too comfortable that when I have to dress up again, I'm going to hate life.
• Even though Christian Bale throws temper tantrums on set, he's really a class act? Bruce Wayne in the flesh visited all the victims of the shooting in Aurora. I heart Batman.
• I'm a little scared to see The Dark Knight Rises? Not because I think a shooting will happen again, but because I remember the anxiety from watching The Dark Knight that made me never want to go to Gotham ever.
• I'm sleep deprived? I had a great weekend in Philly. (More on that later.) Which means that little sleep happened for me this weekend. Whatever. I'll sleep when I'm dead.
• I am so.freaking.excited. for the Olympics? I mean, in a little over 48 hours I will be plunked down in front of my TV watching the Opening Ceremonies. 
• I plan on having the TV on or recording the Games? Granted, all the good stuff airs in prime time, but I love watching any medal ceremony and obscure sports.
• I have the delusion still to become an Olympian? With sports like curling, archery, weightlifting, and shooting, I could do it without being super human fit like swimmers or runners.
• USA!! USA!! USA!!

Oh and go look at the Olympians I'll be stalking at the Games this year at my post USA! USA! USA!

Yum.

Denver! Denver! I'm From DENVER!

My theme song.

Thank you, T.J. Miller. (You know him from She's Out of My League)




Talk shit about Denver, trust I'll defend her.

p.s. Thoughts with all those affected in the shooting in Aurora which is the same size as Denver and just to right. I'll defend her, too.

Margarita Slushy, Anyone?

So, you know how I was so clever with my "Spilled Salt Margaritas" last week at the superstitious themed happy hour? Yeah, well there was a second liter of Jose Cuervo Gold Margarita in the freezer. I put it there to keep it cold and thought that since there was tequila in it already, that it would keep from freezing.

And then I left work.

For the weekend.

And then I didn't need any ice yesterday.

And I then I wanted iced coffee this morning so I opened up the freezer.

To find that yes, Jose's little mix, in fact, does freeze. And since it's in glass, it freezes hard enough to fracture and break the glass.

Naturally, I wanted to clean out the big shards from the freezer, wipe it down and potentially salvage the margarita slushy that was still intact.

And then I tried to move the fractured glass and catch it over a bin.

From there, the weight of the margarita slushy was too much for the fractured glass and it fell. And shattered.

Leaving a giant lump of margarita slushy with a side of glass shards all over the floor.

Funny thing about margarita slushy, glass shards, and a wood floor. The wood floor acts like the best camouflage that Duck Dynasty would envy for the glass shards. So while I was "wiping down the sticky stuff" to close the freezer door without making a bigger mess, I was really jamming all the glass shards to one area in which to poke me.

Twice.

So now, I'm sporting two battle wounds from margarita slushy warfare. In which I lost. No more margaritas, sticky shoes, and a mess to clean up.

And the kitchen? Smells like a hangover.

Jose knows his tequila and you can smell it from a mile away.

Very Superstitious

...writing's on the wall.

Sing it Mr. Wonder.

On Friday the 13th, I was in charge of the office happy hour for a little new office-warming. Naturally, I needed to go with a theme since we were hosting the happiest of hours on one of the most talked about Fridays of the year.

To the internets I went and researched good and bad luck charms, superstitions, and the like. I learned a little, but really the most inspiration came from a little place called Pinterest.

Have you heard of it? Go to w-w-w dot p-i-n-t-e-r-e-s-t dot com.

Mind. Blown.

Here's what we had on the menu:

Spilled Salt Margaritas
A little Jose pre-mixed margaritas were amazing. However, I went to two grocery stores and four liquor stores for margarita salt. NO DICE. Had to make do with regular salt.

Blue Moon Beer
Of course these had to be served with orange slices. I mean, it would be un-American to do so.

Water
Hydration is key.

Ladybug Caprese
This little gem came straight from Pinterest. It's mozzarella, basil leaves, grape tomatoes halved with the end cut off and a quarter black olive with minced olive spots. I would have not had the crackers, but it made it easier to pick up, and with the crackers, the olive oil and balsamic vinegar went out the window because it would make them soggy. Whatever. They are still damn cute.

Goldfish
It's lucky to keep goldfish outside of our house, but unlucky to keep them in it. Weird, but it's an easy superstition to use.

Buckeyes
Not only the mascot for The Ohio State University, these things are my go-to for Christmas goodie boxes. What can go wrong with powdered sugar, peanut butter, and chocolate? NOTHING.

Chocolate Covered Strawberries (Black Cats)
We got a little creative with the black cat for the strawberries. It was a little hard to draw cat faces on the strawberries, so we just called them black cats. Done and done.

Lucky Charm Treats
Instead of Rice Krispies, substitute with Lucky Charms! They smelled heavenly and were a hit! (I, of course was out since they are gluten-y.) But I would say to reserve from marshallow charms for the top since they tend to melt a little with the mallow & butter swirling.

Horseshoe Breadsticks with Herbs & Olive Oil for dipping
Using Pillsbury breadsticks, I halved them made them into horseshoes (or U's or C's - depending on your perspective) and complimented them with some olive oil & herbs. A fun & easy way to draw in more of the superstitions!

Street Sense

Does your city have those people hawking papers on the corner to "Help the homeless!"? They are all over DC and from what I understand are very useful to help people get back on their feet.

Anyway, the point of the blog title is only that there was a Street Sense hawker on the same street corner where I noticed a lot of women missing their own street sense. Now, let's talk about what is not acceptable work wear. Because? There's a whole lotta wrong walking around DC.

Hemlines & Necklines
I may be old school, but if your skirt/dress hem doesn't come to your finger tips when your arms are at your sides, your skirt and hem are too short. No. You don't get to say, "Ally McBeal paved the way for shorter skirts." Ally McBeal is fake, your career is real.

As for necklines, don't use Love & Hip Hop Atlanta as your guide. Or Kim Zolciak's need for a "little side boob". Or any reality TV show for that matter. You should not be able to see any decollete. When in doubt, don't let them out. Trust when I say that covering them up does more than letting it all hang out.

"Skin"-terns
You know who you are, girls. I would say ladies, but in truth, a lady would not reveal as much skin as you do. I'm looking at the Hill when I say this. Just because you're working for free does not mean you should also give the milk away for free. Lock it up.

Slits
You know how some pencil skirts have slits? Oh, I only mention it because it doesn't seem like a lot of you ever look at the back of your skirts. Why do I say that? Because I can see your Britney. Yeah. On the escalators, on the street, when you sit down. Everywhere. You need to make sure that when you try on a skirt that the slit doesn't come up to 2" below your booty. That makes you like a Skin-tern.

Shoes
I get it. This is a walking town. You walk everywhere and you want to look good doing it. That means that you need to find yourself a cobbler. You need to invest in shoes that can be repaired. You need to buy shoes with the understanding that they will stretch. You need to know that you looked busted when you can't walk on your heels because they are so worn down they are crooked.

Now that you're going to get some decent shoes, let's talk about heel height. If it has a platform under the toes, be careful. That's the first sign of stripper heels. I'm not saying you can't wear them to the office, I'm just saying be careful. Now, if the actual stiletto is more than 4" (with or without a platform), you need to be careful. If it gives the illusion, you might be street walking, if you know what I mean. Also? The higher the heal, the longer the hemline. Again, you need to avoid looking like a Skin-tern.

As for commuter shoes, you know, those comfy flats? Make sure those aren't busted either. Or a tennis shoe. They make cute flats. That are comfortable. That go with a range of outfits. Don't make yourself look haggard before the day even begins.

Bags
While I know that commuting means that you're sporting a tote or a large purse, make sure it's not bordering on looking like luggage. I get that you're bringing in a pair of heels to wear around the office. Keep a standard pair at the office and you'll save some space. Packing your lunch? You can find really adorable lunch bags that don't incite the use of a carry-on. Consider a kindle or a nook if you're an avid reader of any sort. They have magazines and newspapers available and save space in your bag.

Also? Reusable totes from the grocery store? Are for groceries. Not for your commute. Upgrade. You're a big kid now and should be equipped as such.

Hair & Nails
Now that you're a big kid, that means that you need to wash and do your hair and make sure your manicure isn't ragged. I'm not saying you should have a blowout every week, but make sure you brush your hair, don't leave the house with wet hair, style bumps from ponytails out. Look like you're at least trying. I'm not saying I have stellar hair everyday, but more often than not, it looks decent.

For nails, I'm also not saying that you should be getting a mani every week either. I, in fact, do a lot of at home mani's. It's easy to see when your cuticles should be pushed back or trimmed. It's easy to shape your nails with a file. And? If you don't keep your color with you for chip fixes, I recommend Seche Vite Speed Dry Top Coat (raved about here by Kelly at Keeping Up With Kelly & Co.) or plunking down for a gel manicure. Otherwise, you need to maintain your nails. Chipped nails look trashy. And it's OK to not have anything on them at all. Trust when I say than a nude nail is better than a chipped nail.

Now, before you start spitting venom at me for calling people out, let me tell you this: I have been guilty of all of these sins. I have realized it at the end of the day, at a mid-morning mirror check, by a friend pointing out the twins are looking for a promotion, that I whack people on the bus with my bag, that I'm unprepared when I chip a nail at work. I get it. It's hard to be put together. But if you don't know you're doing it, it's hard to know it's happening. I think this post mostly came out of seeing all of this on the way home from work and me hoping and praying that I've never been a victim, but alas, I have. I know it. So don't go hating on me for calling out the anonymous masses.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself, that's all.

So What Wednesday

I'm linking up with Shannon at Life After I "Dew" for some so whatting.

SO WHAT if...

• I am that stereotypical shrieking girl when I see a bug? We have seen no less than six of these things in the last three days. With their legs intact. Because they survived our bug bombing. And let me tell you, these suckers can MOVE. And let's not get started on the cockroaches. SICK.

This one? Is post-Chernobyl.

• I'm not sorry that I'm sharing that photo with you? Misery loves company. Welcome to my hell.
• I feel like it's fall? After two weeks of 100+ in heat index, having a heat index in the 80s has a little chill to the air.
• I was excited to have cold sheets to stick my feet into? Normally, I hate cold sheets, but when it's been so blessed hot out, it's nice to want to cozy up in my bed.
• I am loving the housewarming gift from padre y madre dos of a 32" LCD wall-mounted HD amazingness? Well, it was more like a combined effort as the options were nice housewarming gift in whole and no prezzies at Christmas, or contribute with some gifts under the tree in December. You can imagine that since this girl likes gifts, we worked it out.
• I honestly would not have gotten a flat screen had my room been so limiting to pieces of furniture? I mean the frat boys that lived there before us must have had a full-size to put anything else in that room. (Cue flashbacks to college.)
• I may have to get a subscription to ESPN magazine? We've been getting the frat boys' mail still and ESPN magazine does a great job with their cover choices. 

Well, hello Matt Kemp. via

This is the only thing about the Patriots I could tolerate in Rob Gronkowski. Except, now that I'm looking at this, the dot? Is kinda small, Rob. #burn via

• I'm still on my countdown (16 days!) for the Olympics? I mean, I question the choice of berets for Team USA, but I can.not.wait. for the Opening Ceremonies!
• I totally got distracted with finishing this post? I mean, you go to nbcolympics.com and it's all over.

Go link up with Shannon and say your own SO WHAT!

I'm Handy and I Know It

Oh, LMFAO, how you are not the soundtrack to my life. (Mostly.)

Anyhoo, I got crafty and handy at the yoga studio the past couple of days. They wanted a menu box similar to what you would see outside of a restaurant, but for class schedules, workshops, etc. So I offered my skillz and drill up for the job.

There was a lot of consultation with the True Value Hardware across the street, countless smacks to kill mosquitoes, lots of cursing when the glue wouldn't set because it was hotter than Hades, some more cursing when holes wouldn't line up, and a lot more cursing that mosquitoes were having a Golden Corral feast on me.

In the end, it took the following:
(3) 1x4s
Trim pieces of choice
(2) cans of spray paint
(1) plastic planter
(2) brackets
(12) anchors
(12) screws of appropriate length
(1) 1/4" drill bit for brick/mortar
(1) can bug repellent
(1) fancy millwork (wood) decorative piece
Plexiglass (do the big sad lip and have your hardware store cut it for you
scrap wood to be a backing since you're not mounting to an even surface
Wood glue
Patience
Heavy things

Assemble your pieces and glue them together. Make sure you put heavy things on top and let them cure (sit) for at least 30 minutes in a reasonably temperatured environment, i.e., not outside where it's pushing 95. Once that's done, spray your first coat of spray paint on the entire piece. It'll get dirty, more fingerprints, and pieces of newspapers on it, so we'll do another coat later.

Now that you've let the painted everything and let it set overnight, you're going to mount it to the brick wall that doesn't have an even surface. (Why did the mason that put this building together 100 years ago not make this wall at one elevation? Why did you have to kick it back 2"??) Anyway, you're going to drill through all the pieces and the brick. Because? Otherwise, your holes will probably not line up and you'll end up with a less than level frame. Once you have used all of your strength to drill through the wood and brick, you're going to push in the anchors into the holes. From there, you'll screw in the frame to the wall.

Now, onto the planter. While you were assembling the frame, you glued on the fancy will work to the side of a clay colored, plastic window planter. And then you gave it a coat of spray paint. Now you're going to drill hole in the back to mount to the wall with washers and set it up on the brackets so when you add soil and flowers, it won't rip away from the wall.

In the end, you'll have spray paint all over (remove with vaseline or oil), 14 mosquito bites, and because you didn't listen to my advice about drill through all the pieces at once and making sure the backing was sercure, a little less than level frame, but it looks good with a planter so no one will care.

It was level before I screwed it into the brick.

Whatever. Add some flowers and informational pamphlets and you'll have yourself a shabby chic display.

p.s. These pictures are the "almost done" pictures. There's some plexiglass and of course the whole part of mounting information, but this is what I had before I left. I'll post "done done" pictures later.

The post was also alternatively titled, "Pinterest, I Hate You for Making It Look Easy".

Celebrating 'Merica Recap

Some of you bloggers are so on top of your postings it makes me a little anxious. I can barely find my phone charger, much less the cord to connect my camera to my comp. So this little recap? Brought to you by my Dad and Step Mom's photos. Because they have their shizz together.

Enjoy.

Me and Danielle with the Washington Monument & Old Post Office in the background.

BOOM.

Red, white, and blue.

So pretty.

Those three days that my Dad and Step Mom were in town were hands down some of the hottest on record. Literally. We tried to beat the heat, but there are tourists everywhere, no place with a steady breeze, and the walking everywhere just makes you sweat more. You know why I'm wearing a Red Sox hat? Because there's so much sweat in my hair, matted down and sopping wet. Thank little baby Jesus for weaving cotton fibers in a color scheme that's appropriate for those hot days.

Thankfully, today we have a break in the heat. It's only into the 80s with 80% humidity, but it feels like a cold front compared to the 90s at 11pm we've had as of late.

Enjoy your week!

Padre y Madre Dos (Dad and Step Mom) Are Coming

This afternoon (SQUEE!) my dad and step mom, known as Madre Dos around these parts and in real life, will be touching down in DC for a true 'Merican celebration of Independence. By helping their 29 year old daughter set up house.

And by house, I mean handiwork that I am capable of doing, but would rather someone else get sweaty and dusty doing. But there's also the extra set of hands and we know how to work together on these types of things aspect I'm going with.

You know, to make me feel better about having a "Daddy Do List" since I am SO-less.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Moving on.

I'll be showing the padre y madre dos about town for the next couple of days in the swealtering heat of a DC summer, but since they're living in Dallas now, they should be used to it. But then again, they have a pool and I do not.

Madre Dos, me, and the padre

Derecho...say whaaa???

Unless you've been living under a rock (or without power) you know by now that a massive storm blew through the country Friday night. The meteorologists are calling it a "Derecho".

Say whaaa???

I've saved you and already wikipedia'ed it for you:
A derecho (Spanish: derecho "straight", pronounced [de̞ˈɾe̞tʃo̞]^[1]), is a widespread and long-lived, violent convectively induced straight-line windstorm that is associated with a fast-moving band of severe thunderstorms in the form of a squall line usually taking the form of a bow echo.

So last summer, a haboob threatened my travel, now a derecho is cramping my style.

Now, I was not the unfornate to lose power at all, but lemme tell you. I had something much worse.

I? Was denied Magic Mike. Remember my last post where I drooled over the men? Yeah. I only got maybe 45 minutes of Channing working the stage. In fact, we only got one solo. Not. OK. The derecho cut power to the generators to run the projectors. Granted, we got some audience members get up and dance for us (thankyouridiculouslybuiltgaymen) and a refund, but still. I mean, really.

That was 250 women and gay men leaving very pent up and now getting into another showing is proving difficult. The next show that's at a time for us nine to fivers? THURSDAY. At 7:20pm. This is going to be the longest four days. Thankfully, padre y madre dos are coming into town on Tuesday and there's something going on Wednesday, so Thursday will be here before I know it.

Here's to everyone getting their power back, a great week, and a Magic Mike finish.