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Thursday, September 13, 2012

An Open Letter to Red Vines

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Dear Red Vines,

I do love your delicious licorice. I have fond memories as a kid of your Original Red Twists. I had them at movies, at birthday parties, and sleepovers. They are a delicious treat mixing corn syrup, citric acid, your own secret flavoring, red dye number 40, and WHEAT FLOUR.

Wait. Let me get this straight. My beloved confectionery is made using wheat flour?!

Where, why, how, who, what could possibly possess you to take something as innocuous as corn syrup and throw in gluten in there? Why not corn starch?

Why you gotta hate on people with auto-immune sensitivity to gluten? Seriously. Not cool, Red Vines. Not. Cool.

All a girl wants is to bite off both ends of a Red Vine, stick it in their soda and have a fun little straw. Then maybe eat said straw because it's extra sugary from your soda.

Or maybe you want to twirl a Red Vine like a helicopter while you're standing around chatting with your mom because you both love Red Vines.

So again, Red Vines, I have to ask why do you use wheat flour? Have you experimented with rice flour? Almond flour? Corn starch? Quinoa flour? Millet flour?

Please, for the love of everything holy, get your chemists, scientists, and resident Betty Crockers together to brain storm and try new recipes so the major allergen group that you're discriminating against can enjoy your delicious candy.

That would be great, thanks.

2 comments:

  1. Dairy intolerance is enough, I wouldn't be able to stand a gluten allergy too. That would completely take away from the movie experience if I couldn't have them. I love me some Red Vines.

    Have you written a serious letter to them? Who knows, maybe they will experiment.

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  2. Hi Ana,

    Love this post! Very enthusiastic and I can tell you've put a lot of thought into this. :)

    My name is John and I'm with the marketing team at Red Vines (well, American Licorice, but you get the idea). While I can't tell you exactly what's on the horizon for our products, I can tell you that we're always looking for new ways to help our consumers have a great experience with our candy. Stay tuned in to our Facebook (www.facebook.com/RedVines) and twitter (twitter.com/redvines) pages for updates on what our mad scientists in the lab are working on.
    Thanks for your thoughts and support for Red Vines. In the meantime, keep up the great creative writing work!

    Cheers,
    John

    ReplyDelete