Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Yep. I'm That Girl.

Ok, well, more "I'm that idiot."

So, I was in the courtroom today and part of my duties are recording the session and marking a sheet with the tracks so that they can be downloaded. As I was pulling the sheet out of my stack in my arms, I pull up and out with flourish.

And when I say flourish, I hold sheet taut enough to become as sharp as a knife edge. How do I know it was as sharp as a knife? I dragged said edge across my eye. You read that right. My. Eye. I have a paper cut on MY EYE.

You would think that if you felt an instant burn from the paper A) touching your eye, or B) cutting the cornea, you would stop all movement. Or close your eye. Or pull the paper away from your face. But I? Am not your ordinary girl. I am special. I am awesome. I am? That idiot.

I went across the street (I'm now think it's destiny that I have a Starbucks and an eye doctor across the street.) to see the doctor...he put an anesthetic/dye in my eye and took a look with his fancy eye looker-thing. His exact quote, "Huh. Well, how about that? You do have a paper cut on your eye. In all my years of practice, I have never seen that."

So, my mom had to pick me up from work, took me home and now I'm kicking it like a thug on my couch. I have to wear sunglasses so I'm not squinting a la Popeye. Although, now, the anesthetic is wearing off and I'm getting light sensitive from drops through my sunglasses. I see a nap in my future.

I bet your day is going better than mine. If it's not, the stars are stacked against you girl, get back in bed. (Name that tune for 5 cool points.)

1 comment:

  1. Oh, Lord.

    You absolutely just made me laugh until I cried (read: peed a little bit)

    Heal fast, as the wheels of justice are in your hands.

    (Hmmmmm . . . )