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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Take a Memo...

Ms. Mother Nature
North American Continent
Northern Hemisphere
Planet Earth


RE: Changing Seasons and Planetary Orbits


Dear Mother Nature:

As of late, the northern hemisphere, and more specifically on the North American Continent in the general locality of Denver, Colorado (39.45 lat, 105.0 long) has been experiencing some uncharacteristic weather. While we realize that it is indeed Colorado and the weather patterns can change immensely from day to day, we feel as though the weather patterns that have included inches and FEET of snow in the month of April is getting out of hand. Colorado does have a history of late winter/spring blizzards, but those occur in the month of March.

After many centuries of calculating the rotation of the Earth around the sun, taking into account the orbital path, the tilt of the Earth on its axis, and its relative position to the sun, scientists the world over agree that the Vernal Equinox signifies the Earth's point in its orbit that begins the northern hemisphere's "tilt" towards the sun. This means that, for the inhabitants of the northern hemisphere, days become longer and the weather is generally warmer. That said, snow is not warm.

Finding that a snowstorm has blanketed a major metropolitan area overnight that was not forecasted presents several challenges for residents in the area. Spring in Colorado already presents its challenges as it can swing more than 40 degrees in a day from sunrise to sunset. Adding to that the need for extra layers, wet weather gear, and a Monday morning rush hour commute creates an unnecessary toll on these residents.

If you feel that you have received this message in error, this office is willing to explore the possibility of weather forecasting to be a joke on society and that all meteorologists are frauds. However, if you find this letter to be, what we assume to be, an oversight on your part, please take immediate corrective action to cease and desist all snow in the Denver Metro area until Halloween of 2009, which is generally accepted as around the time that the first snow comes for Colorado.


Warm regards,

Ana O.
Office of Snow in April Can Suck It
Denver, CO

3 comments:

  1. Witty Ana..... that was funny.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Did you dead? Haven't seen or heard from you in a week or more!

    ReplyDelete