Best Invention Since They Put the Pocket in Pita

OK, so you could say "since sliced bread", but that's a quote from Hercules. Yes. The animated film. That I can sing along to the entire soundtrack to. Yep. Same one.

Anyway, so here are some on the coolest inventions that make my life easier. Enjoy.

Camelbak Water Bottles with Straws
Seriously it's amazing how much more water I can drink on the go. Awesomeness.

Insulated Drinking Cups
For my iced or hot coffee...the straw and 10 cent discount make my mornings that much better with my caffeine.

Quick Dry Fabrics
Having the ability to not lose shape as you sweat and to dry faster than cotton makes working out not such a hassle in summer.

Heart Rate Monitors
Knowing how hard I worked out when I get a royal ace kicking by trying to keep up with my marathoning boss makes it that much more gratifying to get to the gym.

Air Conditioning
Having the direct flow of air on my face in the summer is a necessity to keep cranky pants at bay. Oh, and if you really want to prevent cranky pants, don't make me wait.

Parking Meters that Accept Cards
Who carries $2 in change on a regular basis? Not to mention I don't have a handy coin storage anymore. The city isn't smart when it says that you've paid until the end of the metering time...I used to pump more change in, this is why you have a deficit, Denver.

Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure
I can keep my mani and pedi up to date easily with the all-in-one bottle. Today, I have Kook-A-Mango on and it's pretty much amazing.

Naps
Seriously. They are amazingly therapeutic. From 15 minutes to 3 hours, I love naps.

Flip Flops
Throw on, throw off. They're like slippers that you can wear in public. And no, and form of sheepskin is not permissible.

iPhone
Seamless integration of my life. Music, calendar, contacts, apps, email, fb, etc. It's a catch all that backs up and loves me no matter what. Not to mention with the mirrored screen protector, it doubles as a quick touch up mirror.

Real Housewives of New Jersey
Trainwrecks, fiery personalities, to-die-for homes and fashion. I can't wait for Monday nights. Especially with the follow-up of What What Happens Live. You can make that shizz up.

Getting Caught Up - Indianapolis Memorial Day Weekend

Where do I start? First, I kind of dig Indianapolis. I mean, it's awesome that Kendra lives there part of the year while Hank play football, but it's nice. I didn't know what to expect for Indiana, but it's nice.

Part of the trip was to visit one of my best friends, Kristin, but the other part was to experience the Indy 500. AH. MAZE. ZING. I started the trip off with a little bit of a back spasm so I was moving around geriatrically, but otherwise, I managed to keep up with the hike into the Speedway. It's awesome in so many ways. Not only is it the largest spectator sport facility with 250,000 permanent seats, but you also get to bring in anything you want. So, naturally, we trucked in with food, booze, and sunscreen. Most of the day is spent tailgating on the in field, then watching milliseconds of the race and the cars zoom past, then sitting in traffic for 2 hours while EVERYONE in Indiana leaves. It was a blistering 96 degrees with 67% humidity...and the heat of the track...meaning that we were essentially dry roasting ourselves at about 125 degrees...for several hours.

This guy sums up the awesomeness of the race:



Thankfully, we were diligent with our sunscreen application, so no one actually roasted.

Upside, the people next to us were roasting, left early, and left their Slip N Slide behind...enter cool down after the race. It? Was awesome. Highly recommend everyone to invest in one. Stat!


Also, Dunkin Donuts: You are put on notice that Colorado, more specifically anywhere near me, needs a franchise. Now. I don't care so much about the donuts, but more about the French Vanilla Coffee. Just sayin'.

Pet Names for Pets

I've been spending lots of time with my dog, Harry, a lot lately...for whatever reason, he's not hating me for making him hike.

In that time, I realized I call him mostly by pet names, not his name...and in a little bit of a baby talk voice. Don't judge. You would to with a face like this.


So, I compiled a list, for your entertainment of the names that I have caught myself calling Harry.

1. Harry (duh)
2. Poopers
3. Poopy Puppy
4. Harry Carrey
5. Harry Pooper
6. Harry Pooter
7. Prissy
8. Princess
9. Hooba
10. Hooby
11. Hoobastank
12. Baby Cakes
13. Poopy

And, you might be thinking, if you know me well, that I would call him Harry Potter, but you would be mistaken. His name comes from his old man eyebrows and the need for an old man name.

I'm surprised Harry listens to me at all with all of his monikers. I can't blame the kid for ignoring me...sometimes.

Impromptu 4.5 Day Weekend

OK, so the first 1.5 of those days I was laid up and sleeping/reading. For you bookworms, I was re-reading Twilight and Midnight Sun simultaneously...meaning I read one chapter in Twilight, then read a chapter in Midnight Sun. Awesome effect and making me love the Twilight series even more...except for Stephanie Meyer getting all cranky about the leaked version and swearing she's not going to finish it.

The rest of the weekend was phenomenal, though. I was able to see a sunrise, visit with family, and even went on a hike with my dog Harry. The trail was pretty easy, but nice to get out to enjoy the gorgeous weather and surroundings that are nearby - just outside of Boulder.

Before heading up, my friend Chelsea and I gathered up the pups and were told by her fiance to "stay low" because of the wild life and the dogs. Chelsea and I looked at each other and laughed...Chelsea and I like to be outdoorsy mostly in the sense that we like to have happy hour on patios. But, we assured him that we would be taking an easy route because with prissy Harry and two wiener dogs, we weren't going far. Well, the irony was that we did run into some big game. Two huge brown bears were fairly close to the Park Ranger's access road. Like, 100 ft away, if there weren't a deep ravine between us. At first, we thought that the two bears were wrestling and playing, but then, well, um, it is spring time, and apparently that was a wanna be cubbie-daddy bear and a potential cubbie-mama bear. Gotta love nature.

Here's to a great week, spring time and loving life!

Too. Freaking. Cute.

Chelsea, third of four brides for my wedding season, is tying the knot in August, I'll be celebrating her bachelorette-hood in Vegas in a couple of short weeks. Of course, there are pomp and circumstance that revolve around a wedding, like a wedding shower. Below, is Chelsea's super cute invites from their family friend.



This theme will get her prepared to expand upon her domestic goddess-like qualities and hopefully more blogging fodder for A Domestic Cupcake!

For now, I'll be kicking up my feet as I have only 8-ish work days over the next 24 days...rough life, I know.

I will have posts-a-plenty over the next several weeks as I will be in Indianapolis for the Indy 500, where I have been promised a White Trash Scavenger Hunt. Then, onto Boston and Cape Cod for a wedding and time with one of my oldest friends...think kindergarten & Brownies old. Then there's Vegas - 'nuff said.

Yep. I'm That Girl.

Ok, well, more "I'm that idiot."

So, I was in the courtroom today and part of my duties are recording the session and marking a sheet with the tracks so that they can be downloaded. As I was pulling the sheet out of my stack in my arms, I pull up and out with flourish.

And when I say flourish, I hold sheet taut enough to become as sharp as a knife edge. How do I know it was as sharp as a knife? I dragged said edge across my eye. You read that right. My. Eye. I have a paper cut on MY EYE.

You would think that if you felt an instant burn from the paper A) touching your eye, or B) cutting the cornea, you would stop all movement. Or close your eye. Or pull the paper away from your face. But I? Am not your ordinary girl. I am special. I am awesome. I am? That idiot.

I went across the street (I'm now think it's destiny that I have a Starbucks and an eye doctor across the street.) to see the doctor...he put an anesthetic/dye in my eye and took a look with his fancy eye looker-thing. His exact quote, "Huh. Well, how about that? You do have a paper cut on your eye. In all my years of practice, I have never seen that."

So, my mom had to pick me up from work, took me home and now I'm kicking it like a thug on my couch. I have to wear sunglasses so I'm not squinting a la Popeye. Although, now, the anesthetic is wearing off and I'm getting light sensitive from drops through my sunglasses. I see a nap in my future.

I bet your day is going better than mine. If it's not, the stars are stacked against you girl, get back in bed. (Name that tune for 5 cool points.)

Wedding #1 of the 2010 Wedding Season

My first wedding for the season took place in Lamar, Colorado. It's a small-ish town in Southeastern Colorado. They have a wind farm. They have a Super Wal-Mart. It's big time.

The weekend started out with picking up one of my partners in crime, Kristin, at the airport and then the 3.5 hour drive to the sticks...nothing like being in a car for 3.5 hours gets you caught up. The rehearsal dinner was a nice little BBQ at the bride's parents' house in an even smaller town: Holly. It's the hometown of former Colorado Governor Roy Romer.

The wedding day was nice little sunny, but chilly start. Making sure that the beer I was about to receive didn't hit me like a ton of bricks, Kristin and I went running and I did a little yoga while she kept running - she has a half-marathon this weekend. We got to relax a little, too before getting ready for the party.

It was a long reception...about 6 hours...so, after the usual pomp and circumstances of a wedding, I managed to dance (and drink) my face off in heels until about 2am....here's how the weekend ended:

Kalyn Wedding Weekend Injury Report:
Random bruises - 6
Numb toes - 4
Scrapes - 0
Shots of Patron - 7
Beers - questionable
Hangovers - 0.
Nice work, team. Nice work.

The best part about this wedding? It's tradition for the bride and groom to ride a goat around the dance floor. You read that right. Ride. A. Goat. Not one to disappoint, a family friend made sure to have a goat on hand.